Oh god, I think some one just tore half my memories out and shredded them, then gave them to Jack and Verm to use as bedding. I feel just…aghast at what I’ve done.
15 years of writing, all my favourite ones, that I’ve gone back and edited over the years, that really did just…encompass my youth and teenage years….just gone. All gone. No other copies.
Sat listening to a random mix compiled by nokia based on my music tastes, bit of The Calling warbling away, and I felt the need to go back to them. You know that, nothing else will do feeling? Where the only way of calming your soul is to re-read old musings and see what new perspective they can offer? I had that need…..and then I remembered, we formatted the harddrive….and I’d been that set on making sure I saved all my photos – which have loads of back ups on that there internet, that I forgot an entire file….and it was even titled “writing”…..
I feel hollow. It’s even harder because so many memories of feelings and emotions were entrenched in them….things I don’t even know how to access any more, times I don’t even really recall…I just remember the writing…all gone….into the ether…..I feel like I’ve lost a friend…I’ve definitley lost part of my soul.
And it hurts. How could I have been so stupid?